As I was stacking the dishwasher early this morning I felt a presence standing behind me.
'Um, Millie darling.'
'Yes MOTH'.
'Um Millie darling.'
'YES MOTH!!!!'
'Um I need to tell you something, other that you're looking particularly ravishing this morning in your trackpants & hoodie & Port Power wooly socks. Oh & I just love the way your hair looks when you've just rolled out of bed & of course, with no make-up, you are even more scrumptious than ever, my sweet.'
'OK, you'd better spit it out MOTH.'
'Well my beautiful one, it's sort of like this. The 'boys' in Melbourne really, really need me this weekend so I'm heading over tonight.'
'You mean our 3 eldest sons? Funny, none of them have mentioned this to me, but what a loving & caring thing to do.'
'Um, well not quite. The other 'boys', you know, Buckie, Andy & Johnno, my old diving mates down on the Pennisula.'
'So you're going to tell me you're spending the weekend diving instead of working on the Bathroom From Hell as you promised?'
'Um, well er yeah diving, & my beloved Dees just happen to be playing the Blue Boys at Docklands on Saturday & the 'boy's can get me into the Members.'
'OK that's it buddy, here's the Yellow Card you're on report. See you at the Tribunal next Monday night!'
'Um, so my sweet little honeybunch that means there's probably not much chance of you giving me some of your Frequent Flier miles to book my flight?'
'About as much chance as The Hedge receiving Blog of the Year from The Washington Post!'
So it will be a MOTH-free zone this weekend, me going to the Meet The Parents lunch solo & making a million excuses for MOTH's absence. Hope yours will be much better! Any suggestions as to how many games he should get on Monday night? Or do I just pull the pin on the rest of his season?
Image 1: Melbourne Football Club Image 2: Etihad Image 3: AFL
Oh dear....I think poor MOTH just didn't know how to approach the Match Tribunal....perhaps focus on the good side: MOTH could have called you from the airport (or Melbourne) so he didn't have to tell you face-to-face!!???!
ReplyDeleteI hope the meet-the-parents goes well for you Millie, and please pass on my commiserations to MOTH re. the footy (I am a Blues girls ;) ).
xxx
Moth is such a lucky man to have such a beautiful caring wife who lets him go away for the weekend. I actually would give my right arm to have the house to myself for the weekend.
ReplyDeleteHeaps of demerit points for bailing out of meet-the-parents. You really dropped the ball on that one MOTH!
ReplyDeleteWell you are a far better woman than me - I would not be impressed at all about having to meet the parents by myself - I would be sabotaging my husbands luggage.
ReplyDeleteYou know things like sewing the legs of his undies closed, scattering plastic ants through his clothes etc etc....lol
MOTH will have to really make this one up to you.
Oh Millie, thanks for your lovely comment -I had read your post a few minutes before and was undecided how to comment- not good at realtionships so I will just say- he sounds to me to wonderful (except for right now- hehe...
ReplyDeletekaren
Well, won't the parents be suprised when they finally get to meet MOTH. You will have made such a great impression, they won't know what to think. You will do great Millie, if they ask just tell them to read you blog and all the truths will be exposed. Love ya, HEidi
ReplyDeleteYes, I was going to say very much the same as Jan.
ReplyDeleteMillie you'll have to think of some harsh payback I think!!
My brother is off to Melbourne for the footy too, male bonding and all that!
xoxo
I think that this is a 'turn it to your advantage' situation ,Mills. OH, I could get so many miles worth out of this one.When MOTH returns, he knows that he will be in the dog house and will do anything to avoid an argument and get back in your good books.!!!!!
ReplyDeleteRe the tea thing, I'm more a coffee girl, although I don't mind a cuppa now and again.I just did the afternoon tea thing 'cos I loved those Rodney Smith photographs !!!!!I forgot that Dick Emery was shown in Australia.
Have a good weekend, even though it's on your own.You can put your feet up and watch whatever YOU want on the tele !!! XXXX
It's a bit hard not to laugh at Moth's description of you...you could tell he was crawling for something...lol...
ReplyDeleteLook at it this way...You can do your own thing for the whole weekend...lap it up ..I would
cheers
Oh dear Millie.
ReplyDeleteHope that the meet the Parents goes well for you and that Moth will make it up with something really, really nice for you.
Enjoy your weekend with some good books and movies.
Hugs
Carolyn xx
Oh Millie, what an understanding wife you are. I say that at the tribunal you should consider making MOTH do double penance in the Bathroom from Hell by working flat out on it for two weekends in a row. Have a lovely weekend. Lee xx
ReplyDeleteO.K.... MOTH owes you BIGTIME! I bet you'll have a great weekend- all to yourself. Have fun at lunch and please report back... don't skip a detail!
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny! I just love all those adoring comments he prepped you with. I should have my hubby read up on some of those as his material is getting a little repetitive! And good luck with 'The Bathroom from Hell' - we had one of those. Thankfully, the memories of hell fade after it's FINALLY done. Whew.
ReplyDeleteMillie your a saint, I have such an allergic reaction to sport - someone even mentions the word and I break out in a rash! I think I am the only kiwi in the world who's does give a monkeys about rugby!!!
ReplyDeleteHope you have a good weekend :)
Hilarious Millie, you are a darling for understanding him so... even with the impending 'meet the parents'. Enjoy the absence of jackhammer sounds, put your feet up and enjoy the rest of the weekend, Miss M, A-M xx
ReplyDeleteActually Millie - I think there's a good chance that The Hedge could win Blog of The Year from The Washington Post, but bailing on Meet the Parents is a worry. I think the Bathroom from Hell will need to be completed in record time now.
ReplyDeletelol this was a great post! very amusing albeit disappointing for you since you had to brave meet-the-parents on your own!
ReplyDeletehope you take advantage of the "me" time and have a chilaxing weekend!
Oh Millie...I hope your lunch turns out well for you!!! I can only think...how MOTHY does that sound!!! Enjoy your peaceful weekend...Dzintra♥x
ReplyDeleteHey Millie!!
ReplyDeleteI thought I already left a comment. Perhaps I forgot the word thingy AGAIN.
Well I have to say I agree with your comments entirely. Every weekend finds me left battered from the workplace communication frenzy. I can, and do go hermit!! haha [no wonder i'm single].
Enjoy the rest of your 'me time'. xx Julie