Perez Should Worry

Some of you close to The Hedge know that since MOTH's brush with his own longevity in the workforce last year with his crook back, he's been contemplating an alternate career. He's looked at all sorts of things that don't involve lifting heavy things. I've 'overheard' some ripper phone conversations as he susses out potential new offerings with his adviser mates from the Rowing Club. They include Boutique Beer Salesman, Jam/Preserve Maker (sorry Michelle), French Tour Guide (I know, I know - I still find it hard to believe that his French language skills are awesome, thanks in no small part to the hots he had for his French teacher at high school!!) & even a Thermomix Demonstrator........yep you read that right.

He ducked down to the village last night to grab some bread & waltzed in the door looking very smug. 'Mills, Mills, guess what I found out!' He then proceeded to tell me the following: A & B have split up, C is having it off with D & everyone knows, E's business is in deep do-do & the ACCC are involved, B is already seeing someone else before A has had a chance to change the locks & A is absolutely spewing & to top it all off E's husband F has left her for a bloke! And he'd gleaned all this juicy info from his 'informants' in a brief 5 minutes outside Woolies!

So dear Hedgies there's nothing for it really, MOTH has found his new calling - Gossip Columnist Extraordinairre. I have no doubt after this post goes live his phone will run hot with offers. Were does he sign Messrs. Murdoch & Hearst? Or failing that, if Norm from the Mt. Barker Courier happens to read this, please give him a contract - the Hills would be positively alive with defamation threats, but you'd have a winner on your hands!

Image: Popcrunch