Monday, July 6, 2009

Where's My Lext?!

Poor MOTH has a big reputation around here as a technological dinosuar. I've only just been able to teach him how to attach a file to an email & up to recently, he'd couldn't text. So the boys recently gave him a quick intensive texting lesson & suddenly, as per usual, he was Mr. Expert. He asked me the other night what sexting was, & after explaining it to him, I told him I've never received one & that at 53 & 60 our sexting days are probably over before they've begun!

So when he came home after work late Saturday afternoon looking very smug & asked me did I like his lext, I was very puzzled.

'What's a lext?' was the obvious question.

'Oh, that's my new word Mills, a lext is a Lustful Text, great eh.' he says.

'Silly me, of course it is Darling, that's an 'interesting' word.'

'I reckon it's a ripper & you were whingeing the other night about never getting one, so I thought I'd better fix that pronto. Pretty good wasn't it!'

'Well I'm not sure, 'cos I never received it Heart of my Heart.'

'Oh sure you did love, you're joshing aren't you?'

'Nup, no new messages on my phone - see.'

Gulp & lengthy silence.

'Um, exactly how explicit was this lext Sweetheart?'

An even bigger gulp & lengthier silence.

'Oh, you could say it was fairly 'descriptive' Mills'.

'So on the Sizzle Scale how would you rate it Dear Heart.'

Shuffling of feet & absolutely no eye contact.

'Ummmm about an 18 out of 10.'

'I think you'd better hand over your phone & let me see if I can figure out what's happened my little Lext Chicken.'

Fumbling of phone & agitated sighing.

'You do know that's not my phone number under 'Wife' in your phone Contacts my little Stud Muffin.'

'Oh #!*?!*, are you sure? I was fiddling around yesterday & accidentally deleted the last 2 digits of your number, but I could have sworn I put in the right ones again. I copied them straight off your business card.'

'Boyfriend, I can see you did that, but you've entered them the wrong way round'.

What followed can only be described as a true Kodak moment! So to the person who received a very suggestive lext by mistake on Saturday afternoon, please return it. By the look on MOTH's face, it will be the first & last one I'll ever not receive from him!!!

And to the boys - my endless thanks for not showing him how to take photos with his phone & attaching them to messages!!! Although if you had & he did, then you would have well & truly won this year's Perpetual Family Practical Joke trophy (read more here and here) hands down!!!! I reckon that lext would be No 1. on youtube right about now!

Image 1: Things Happen 4 A Reason Image 2: RLV


  1. Oh poor MOTH, you can tell him I thought his post was fab now, I think he may need that little bit of extra encouragement!

  2. Millie - This was the last thing I expected when I clicked on this post - a classic - I laughed so hard! But you know, technological slips aside, it's the thought that counts!

  3. Never a dull moment at your house Millie!! You make me laugh!!

  4. ooooooooo Millie...hope it didn't go to the lovely JUSTINE!!! lol

  5. Oh Millie,

    How sweet and so funny. Lovely post.
    You have a Dear Moth!

    The message would have made some other persons day!


  6. and I meant to say...can you tell us the story of how your family came to have practical joke month?

  7. Well Millie, MOTH has certainly proved the old adage "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing" to be correct! Looking forward to his next adventure. Leigh

  8. Hilarious! I'm still laughing and can't wait to show Brunnel!

  9. Yall are so funny. We are in our 30s and we don't text. It will be one year soon that I learned how to blog. So good to hear your blog voice. HEidi

  10. This is HYSTERICAL!!!!!!
    love it!

  11. priceless millie! reminds me of the time i thought i hung up from leaving a voice message at the pharmacy only to find out husband and i's next conversation had been recorded. *blush*

    glad to hear you're feeling better. pam

  12. Oh Millie, MOTH is priceless! No wonder you love him so much. Lee :)

  13. Millie, I have a big smile as I am writing this, it is so funny!

    Men and technology do not appear to be a good combination.....

    How does that saying cannot teach an old dog new tricks :-)

    Bon semaine,


  14. A lext, a text...someone somewhere has a big smile on their face Millie! xv

  15. This is, by far the funniest post I have ever read on the subject of texting. I got to get my wife over here to read it.

  16. My husband said to drop over and read this funny, funny post. So here I am, and it is hilarious. Poor MOTH, yes, certainly glad he didn't know how to attach a photo. Now what he did sounds about like something that could have happened in this house, IF he had a cell phone he could text with. Thank goodness we only carry a TracPhone in the car for emergencies. But you got to love him, don't you, he's trying hard to learn how to use these new contraptions. LOL

  17. Oh Millie, I am laughing so hard at this post.....oh my goodness!! Absolutely hilarious.....I love you and MOTH, better than any TV programme :)
    Hope you had a restful week-end xo

  18. OMG, this is THE funniest post Millie! Poor Moth, how sweet of him to make up a new word for you and a new phone number!!! Wouldn't you have loved to have seen the recipient's face when they found the text?!

  19. This is too Funny...has he had a Reply...maybe that's yet to

  20. Ah that's a funny mistake! It must be a very interesting lext text! Did you ask him about the contents? BTW Abe sent me here. And I am glad he did.

  21. yes , i am ROTFWL !
    ( rolling on the floor with laughter)


  22. Millie and Moth your true tales make my laugh lines appear!

  23. You guys crack me up.. always some adventure.. or misadventure.. I pitty the poor person on the recieving end. Then again.. they may have enjoyed it. Thanks for the laugh. Julie

  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

  25. Now that is weird. comment went astray... doing a MOTH I guess.

  26. What a sweet man! Good for him for "lexting" you. :) I hope he will attempt it again some day soon.


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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