Monday, July 6, 2009

Where's My Lext?!


Poor MOTH has a big reputation around here as a technological dinosuar. I've only just been able to teach him how to attach a file to an email & up to recently, he'd couldn't text. So the boys recently gave him a quick intensive texting lesson & suddenly, as per usual, he was Mr. Expert. He asked me the other night what sexting was, & after explaining it to him, I told him I've never received one & that at 53 & 60 our sexting days are probably over before they've begun!

So when he came home after work late Saturday afternoon looking very smug & asked me did I like his lext, I was very puzzled.

'What's a lext?' was the obvious question.

'Oh, that's my new word Mills, a lext is a Lustful Text, great eh.' he says.

'Silly me, of course it is Darling, that's an 'interesting' word.'

'I reckon it's a ripper & you were whingeing the other night about never getting one, so I thought I'd better fix that pronto. Pretty good wasn't it!'

'Well I'm not sure, 'cos I never received it Heart of my Heart.'

'Oh sure you did love, you're joshing aren't you?'

'Nup, no new messages on my phone - see.'

Gulp & lengthy silence.

'Um, exactly how explicit was this lext Sweetheart?'

An even bigger gulp & lengthier silence.

'Oh, you could say it was fairly 'descriptive' Mills'.

'So on the Sizzle Scale how would you rate it Dear Heart.'

Shuffling of feet & absolutely no eye contact.

'Ummmm about an 18 out of 10.'

'I think you'd better hand over your phone & let me see if I can figure out what's happened my little Lext Chicken.'

Fumbling of phone & agitated sighing.

'You do know that's not my phone number under 'Wife' in your phone Contacts my little Stud Muffin.'

'Oh #!*?!*, are you sure? I was fiddling around yesterday & accidentally deleted the last 2 digits of your number, but I could have sworn I put in the right ones again. I copied them straight off your business card.'

'Boyfriend, I can see you did that, but you've entered them the wrong way round'.

What followed can only be described as a true Kodak moment! So to the person who received a very suggestive lext by mistake on Saturday afternoon, please return it. By the look on MOTH's face, it will be the first & last one I'll ever not receive from him!!!

And to the boys - my endless thanks for not showing him how to take photos with his phone & attaching them to messages!!! Although if you had & he did, then you would have well & truly won this year's Perpetual Family Practical Joke trophy (read more here and here) hands down!!!! I reckon that lext would be No 1. on youtube right about now!


Image 1: Things Happen 4 A Reason Image 2: RLV

26 comments:

  1. Oh poor MOTH, you can tell him I thought his post was fab now, I think he may need that little bit of extra encouragement!

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  2. Millie - This was the last thing I expected when I clicked on this post - a classic - I laughed so hard! But you know, technological slips aside, it's the thought that counts!

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  3. Never a dull moment at your house Millie!! You make me laugh!!

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  4. ooooooooo Millie...hope it didn't go to the lovely JUSTINE!!! lol

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  5. Oh Millie,

    How sweet and so funny. Lovely post.
    You have a Dear Moth!

    The message would have made some other persons day!

    Hugs
    Carolyn

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  6. and I meant to say...can you tell us the story of how your family came to have practical joke month?

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  7. Well Millie, MOTH has certainly proved the old adage "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing" to be correct! Looking forward to his next adventure. Leigh

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  8. Hilarious! I'm still laughing and can't wait to show Brunnel!

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  9. Yall are so funny. We are in our 30s and we don't text. It will be one year soon that I learned how to blog. So good to hear your blog voice. HEidi

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  10. This is HYSTERICAL!!!!!!
    love it!

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  11. priceless millie! reminds me of the time i thought i hung up from leaving a voice message at the pharmacy only to find out husband and i's next conversation had been recorded. *blush*

    glad to hear you're feeling better. pam

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  12. Oh Millie, MOTH is priceless! No wonder you love him so much. Lee :)

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  13. Millie, I have a big smile as I am writing this, it is so funny!

    Men and technology do not appear to be a good combination.....

    How does that saying go.....you cannot teach an old dog new tricks :-)

    Bon semaine,

    Leeann

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  14. A lext, a text...someone somewhere has a big smile on their face Millie! xv

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  15. This is, by far the funniest post I have ever read on the subject of texting. I got to get my wife over here to read it.

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  16. My husband said to drop over and read this funny, funny post. So here I am, and it is hilarious. Poor MOTH, yes, certainly glad he didn't know how to attach a photo. Now what he did sounds about like something that could have happened in this house, IF he had a cell phone he could text with. Thank goodness we only carry a TracPhone in the car for emergencies. But you got to love him, don't you, he's trying hard to learn how to use these new contraptions. LOL

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  17. Oh Millie, I am laughing so hard at this post.....oh my goodness!! Absolutely hilarious.....I love you and MOTH, better than any TV programme :)
    Hope you had a restful week-end xo

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  18. OMG, this is THE funniest post Millie! Poor Moth, how sweet of him to make up a new word for you and a new phone number!!! Wouldn't you have loved to have seen the recipient's face when they found the text?!

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  19. This is too Funny...has he had a Reply...maybe that's yet to come..lol...
    cheers

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  20. Ah that's a funny mistake! It must be a very interesting lext text! Did you ask him about the contents? BTW Abe sent me here. And I am glad he did.

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  21. yes , i am ROTFWL !
    ( rolling on the floor with laughter)

    xx

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  22. Millie and Moth your true tales make my laugh lines appear!

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  23. You guys crack me up.. always some adventure.. or misadventure.. I pitty the poor person on the recieving end. Then again.. they may have enjoyed it. Thanks for the laugh. Julie

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  25. Now that is weird. comment went astray... doing a MOTH I guess.

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  26. What a sweet man! Good for him for "lexting" you. :) I hope he will attempt it again some day soon.

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And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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