Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Perez Should Worry

Some of you close to The Hedge know that since MOTH's brush with his own longevity in the workforce last year with his crook back, he's been contemplating an alternate career. He's looked at all sorts of things that don't involve lifting heavy things. I've 'overheard' some ripper phone conversations as he susses out potential new offerings with his adviser mates from the Rowing Club. They include Boutique Beer Salesman, Jam/Preserve Maker (sorry Michelle), French Tour Guide (I know, I know - I still find it hard to believe that his French language skills are awesome, thanks in no small part to the hots he had for his French teacher at high school!!) & even a Thermomix Demonstrator........yep you read that right.

He ducked down to the village last night to grab some bread & waltzed in the door looking very smug. 'Mills, Mills, guess what I found out!' He then proceeded to tell me the following: A & B have split up, C is having it off with D & everyone knows, E's business is in deep do-do & the ACCC are involved, B is already seeing someone else before A has had a chance to change the locks & A is absolutely spewing & to top it all off E's husband F has left her for a bloke! And he'd gleaned all this juicy info from his 'informants' in a brief 5 minutes outside Woolies!

So dear Hedgies there's nothing for it really, MOTH has found his new calling - Gossip Columnist Extraordinairre. I have no doubt after this post goes live his phone will run hot with offers. Were does he sign Messrs. Murdoch & Hearst? Or failing that, if Norm from the Mt. Barker Courier happens to read this, please give him a contract - the Hills would be positively alive with defamation threats, but you'd have a winner on your hands!

Image: Popcrunch



  1. That's funny! Maybe I can save some money by not buying any magazines and just logging onto his new blog? Just what I needed this morning as I finish my coffee watching the rain and contemplating tackling the mess that is the hall cupboard - thanks.

  2. Fantastic! HOW long was he there for? If he just went down to Stirling village to buy some bread, imagine what he'd find out if he spent a few days in Melbourne? I wonder who the 'source' was, though? Was it A, B, C, E, F, or the bloke the other bloke left his wife for? Could this be a new reality show? 'The Secret Lives of Stirling'? Love it! Janelle McCulloch | Library of Design xx
    PS We don't know anything of what goes on in our village! Must get out and buy more bread.

  3. Millie, just what I needed on this grey and miserable day! A bit of a giggle...Moth would be able to give his wonderful spin to each of these stories. Perhaps he should talk to Janelle and she could give him a few tips to turn it into the new best seller!!!!!!

  4. Me thinks Moth should be writing his own blog Millie. Wouldn't that be fun?!

  5. Thanks for the laugh Millie, this really made me giggle!!! xx

  6. PS MOTH SHOULD do his own blog! Handyman tips mixed in with relationship advice, with a generous dash of humour on the side. Partly tongue-in-cheek/partly practical. It's a brilliant idea Annie.

  7. I have always known that what MOTH really needs is a good agent - his talents are obviously not being exploited to their full. In the meantime we remain faithful and devoted fans!
    Thank you for your kind words today Millie, you were the one who launched me after all!

  8. Sooo Funny!!!! I love the idea of MOTH having his own blog... People would pay to read what goes on in these country towns!
    Rebecca x


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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