On The Nose

Dear Mr. Paul Roos

Last Wednesday night, as part of my lovely Company's mid-year Meeting's Team Building Activity, we were 'treated' to a tour of the Sydney Olympic Stadium, now renamed ANZ Stadium, your team the Sydney Swans home ground. We trudged around the whole place, looking at lots of incredibly boring interesting things. All was going sort of OK until we were taken into the basement of the building & ushered into the Swannie's change rooms. And well Paul, to put it bluntly dear, it was NOT a pleasant experience. The 'aroma' emanating from the floor coverings, was positively EYE WATERING! Years of blood, sweat & tears dripping from the Players bodies into the carpet has taken it's toll, & I had to immediately hold my breath for fear of keeling over from the pong. So as retiring Coach, it's your responsibility to make one last departing grand gesture. Get the Club Management to start placing some candles at crucial points throughout the Rooms, get them burning & fast. Here's some of my recommendations to help in your deliberations, along with the Designer's notes.

Fleurs Blanches by Catherine Memmi is fresh, beautiful & elegant. Apparently this classic blend of white flowers will make your Change Rooms smell like a spring wedding. Pure and lovely.

Amourelle Paris's Figue Patchouli is a rich candle. Let the black fig liberate the fruity poetic and sunny notes of a Mediterranean summer in each & every Players locker: a state of well-being will envelope them as if they were being caressed by the sun. Leaves of patchouli, with their aphrodisiac character, accentuate a feeling of energy as your boys slowly succumb to a state of peace.

Manuel Canovas's Opus Incertum candle exudes a sweet note, furze, acacia flower, fresh hazelnut, blue camomile & white cedar. Even those wizened old Trainers & Boot Studders will want to crack a smile once they get a whiff of this.

Paul, a Jonathan Adler Muse Blanc candle has a crisp floral fragrance in a translucent porcelain vessel that glows as the candle burns. The scent is reminiscent of fresh cut flowers. After the candle is gone the vessel is the perfect pot for a posse of pretty posies - you can give this to your favourite player (thank goodness Barry Hall has defected to the Doggies or he would thump someone in his quest to grab it!)

D.L. & Company's White Gold is a combination of crisp white nectarines and intoxicating madagascar vanilla. This is my personal fave Paul, so I recommend you order these by the pallet load.

I know some of the Roo boys like to get in touch with their feminine side. The DayNa Decker Ella Candle is perfect for those lads 'cos it has scents of mandarin, citrus, jasmine, tuberose & sandalwood. I can guarantee you they will never miss another goal once the heady scent of this classic reaches their nostrils.

And last, but by no means least, here is the pièce de résistance. Cire Trudon's L'Admirable candle which unlocks a zesty concoction of the most expensive Sicilian citrus fruits once lit. A delicate sprinkling of flowers and musk adds a touch of elegance & combination of fragrances. This great combo will inbue the Rooms with a truly European aroma.

(And with the biggest apology to our good friend Vicki Archer, who has been known to walk over broken glass to get to these candles. She may have to rethink her choice if you decide to run with this brand. The close association between her beloved Cire & the Roo Boys change rooms may be all too much for her).

Kind regards