Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Designer MOTH

Every now & then the Internet yields a true gem of a site & - Askmen.com. is no exception. It claims to be the No 1. Men's Lifestyle Portal - yep. Informative, intelligent & sophisticated content, like their Top 10 Lists section which grabbed my immediate attention. I've featured a few examples, so you can get an understanding of this scion of prestige on-line journalism.

Top 10 Ways To Keep Your Ex Away For Good
Top 10 Date Ideas For Under $20
Top 10 Pick-Up Tricks Worth Trying
Top 10 Reasons Why Not To Get Married
Top 10 Date Ideas You Can Do Naked
Top 10 Subtle Ways You Can Tell Her She's Getting Fat
Top 10 Ways To Get Out Of The Doghouse
Top 10 Signs You'll Get Lucky
Top 10 Halloween Sex Positions
Top 10 Ways Men Can Survive A Chick Flick
Top 10 Ways To Pick-Up Women In Bars
Top 10 Disadvantages Of Dating A Babe
Top 10 Ways To Successfully Date Two Women At Once

However there was one that really caught my eye........Top 10 Ways To Impress A Woman With Your Home. And who better to put his own interpretation on the list points than our own resident Sensitive New Age Guy - MOTH. He never misses an opportunity to tell me what a smooth operator he was in his single days & how lucky I was to nab him when I did.

MOTH's Top 10 Ways To Impress A Woman With Your Home

Keep It Clean
Start the Leaf Blower outside the front door, then walk through the house blowing all detritus including well-used socks & jocks, empty beer bottles & pizza boxes in the direction of & out the back door where the aforesaid junk can be dropped over the neighbours fence in the dead of night.

Take Care Of Your Pets
Saving time is paramount so put Fido under the morning shower with oneself. Soap him up well then use him as a large mop to clean the hardened crud from shower recess...... easy!!

Be Creative With Your Art Works
I once had a very creative piece called Painted Lady. She had a bikini bottom on but her arms & torso were painted in a black & red rugby top. I have found that this style of decorating did not impress most chicks, so changed the art works to sports photos showing me in all my trophy-winning glory. That was an instant success.

Keep It Non-Threatening
Note to self: Hide all items which make the place look like a adult bookshop.

Install A Bath
You've got to be joking, find a friend or neighbour who's got a bath & exchange houses for the night.

Go Easy On The Gadgets
I agree - a converted stainless steel beer keg works wonders as an all-purpose cooking appliance. To effect dishwasher mode place dishes etc. in keg (lid open position), squirt detergent on said dishes, place outside (if not already there) & pray for rain.

Give It Soul
Taxidermy works wonders here e.g. a stuffed marlin (& I don't mean ready for the BBQ beer keg) hung imaginatively from the ceiling creates a certain ambience that women just love, along with sporting club memorabilia & the exotic beer bottle collection. Can't think of any better way to display such great depth to my caring, sharing side.

Do Your Research
Hopefully a previous girlfriend would have done all that for you - enough said.

Make It Personal
Arrrrrrh !! Get real !!

Express Yourself
I have expressed myself before & got arrested - not a good idea.

Image: Nickadon


  1. Hi Millie
    Couldn't stop laughing (Still Laughing ) Sounds like the Aussie male's bible. I'll have to poinnt my other half to the site. It already sounds so like him. Thanks for the fun.
    Kind Regards

  2. That's a classis Millie. Thanks for the giggle.

  3. Too funny can't wait to read some of the other topics!

  4. Hi Millie,

    I enjoyed reading your smooth operators way to impress a Woman.
    I say "he is very lucky to have you".

    Have a great week

  5. How on earth your MOTH doesn't have a book deal yet is totally beyond me! So much knowledge and great information should be shared with the world - he really owes it to those less enlightened than himself. It must be hard for you to be married to such a chick magnet - probably similar to being married to George Clooney I expect. Keep your wits about you Millie, you'll need to work hard to hold onto this one!!
    K xx

  6. Millie, I am laughing my cute little butt off over here!! Thank you. After a long tiring day(and sleepless night), this helped so much!! :)

    Love you for always brightening my life!

  7. You just gotta love Moth. He's such a man. Thanks for the giggle Millie!

  8. We all love Moth's words of wisdom, I agree with Kerri, the man needs an agent!
    Very surprised that no one has complemented you on the perfect interior design in the photo. Moth's own?

  9. Dear MOTH, Brunnell would like links to some of your other top 10 lists please. Loves your caring sharing side, no wonder you nabbed Millie. I bet those photos of you in your trophy glory are still up on the wall next to the beer cans. What a fantastic site that askmen is.

    Hmmmm. Amanda xx

  10. Oh my Lord...MOTH! A true aussie bloke that's for sure....all class.

    I'm still laughing at the top ten Date Ideas you can do Naked!

    Millie you really lucked out girlfriend that's all I can say ;o


  11. I love the quintessential giggles at The Laurel Hedge.

  12. I'm afraid to read the top 10 ideas. What if they describe my husband?


  13. The bachelor pad I presume!!

  14. One thing my mother taught me and I never forgot and it paid off big time when I first met my wife to be...was the following.

    1. Wear clean underwear

    2. Keep your fingernails clean.

    It was number 2 that my then mother-in-law saw at the dinner table and pronounced me fit for the family.

  15. Millie you truly are one very lucky lady to have been the one that managed to snare this smooth operator - dear MOTH seems to have every base covered in the seduction stakes. What a guy! Leigh

  16. It's a good thing that you rescued him!!! Photo of the perfect man-cave.

  17. My husband and I are laughing hard! What's that line from the movie Cocktail.."sexual vanity in men over 40 is the first sign of senility"..ha ha..my husband says all the same things to me..Rxx


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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