Friday, October 28, 2011

The Winner's Post

Some of you may have noticed I haven't been very talkative about my new job. Many of you have noticed that I haven't been my old self these past 5 months & thank you all for your concern via email. Hedgies are not known for their reticence in coming forward when they feel they need to know what's going on behind The Hedge. So emails the like of 'Spill the beans on the new job Mills!', 'What's happening at work', 'Have you quit?', etc haven't surprised me in the least.

I have been quiet because to be brutally honest, I've been miserable. I have stepped so far out of my comfort zone I feel like I'm in a different solar system. A whole new group of clients to form relationships with, a whole new specialty to come to grips with, a whole new product catalogue to get my head around, a whole new corporate culture to understand. At 55 I've had to study hard, cram for exams & not fail, the pressure has been immense. I thought those days were long gone & it's been incredibly tough. I miss my old life desperately, but I took on this new challenge because 1: I was pretty sure I could do it & 2: that if I didn't up my income to the current level, I'd still be project managing this uncompleted house renovation from my Nursing Home bed.

This week I turned the corner partways. I have had a win, a considerable win & it feels good. I had become so bound up in not knowing all the other stuff that I forgot one important thing. The one thing I don't have to form, come to grips with, get my head around, understand etc. is the one thing I can do & that's make the sale. So when it happened, it was like welcoming home a treasured old friend. I don't think my confidence ever left me, but it got taken hostage by all those other unfamiliar things.

I'm still not sure what I'll do in the long term. I feel sad that 21 years of expertise in the field I adore with all my being has gone into cold storage. Given the opportunity I'd return to it in a heartbeat. But I've made a commitment to give this my best, so that's where I'm at. Things could be worse & I'm grateful that I can still experience the fun & excitement of a win. And as MOTH so frequently reminds me 'Geez Mills, you're bloody lucky you've still got a job at your age!!!' It's the weekend,so go enjoy it!

Image: Life



  1. It can be tough Millie...but I understand completely. I'm around the same age and have just gone back full time at work and it's not easy. But I look at it as a means to an end. It's not forever and it's for a reason...similar to yours, to be able to pay for the rest of the house reno.
    Always keep in mind that you can always walk away. That's how I approach it
    Take care, have a nice cold glass of wine and have a good deserve it


  2. Just found your wonderful blog all the way from Spain (via Simone @ThBottomoftheIroningBasket).
    Fabulous post. Clearly you haven't lost your mo-jo. The fact that you have stepped out of your comfort zone is a sign of how brave you are and also your growth. Like your sale, one day it will just all click into place.But give yourself the luxury of letting that happen organically.
    Hats off to you girl!

  3. p.s forgot to say I am following after reading some of your past posts, and seeing the incredible work you've done on your home; gorgeous!!

  4. Millie you are such an inspiration and after reading Vanessa's comment I realised that I don't have all that much to add other than "Yay for you Millie!"

    Happy weekend Lovely You, I hope that you and MOTH enjoy a balance of relaxation and fun & on Sunday night you feel revived and satisfied.


  5. Oh Millie I'm sorry you have felt conflicted in your new role. I take my hat off to you for keeping on.
    I 'semi-retired' a little while back with the intention of returning 'one day' but that day hasn't arrived. My choice.
    Bestest wishes
    Annie xx

  6. Hi Mill's,
    Well, I never liked changing jobs when I was in my 20's so, I think it must be even harder ( and scarier ) in one's 50's !! It's so good to hear that you feel a lot better about it now and, if we didn't take any chances life would be a little boring.
    In the current climate, it's good to have a job at all, never mind one's age.
    Keep going Mill's.....I'm sure that we will be reading a post soon where you're loving it !! Lots of love. XXXX

  7. Good on you Mills! For rising to the challenge and persevering. You are so right, you CAN do it!! And good on MOTH too. God love him

  8. Hang in there, I am sure it will get better in time. It is still very new. Have a lovely weekend. ;-)

  9. Onya Millie.
    For rising to the challenge. For making the sale.
    Look after what your heart REALLY wants though mate.
    We only live once.
    Lotsa hugs

  10. Love the honesty of your post and with yourself Millie. It was bound to be a challenge with all the changes, but good to hear you have turned a corner. Enjoy the journey wherever it takes you.
    Hope you have a great weekend.(love the hats, my favorite are the second and last image)
    Rebecca x

  11. Fantastic about the sale. Keep your chin up. Soon it will be Christmas and Summer, and then a new year and you'll be off the learning curve and sailing stylishly ahead! David.x

  12. I just popped by to say I am so glad my little tutorial at least got your enthusiasm, and found this post. I really admire you! Sincerely I do. I am now retired and spent my life doing the same old thing because I didn't have the courage to do what I really wanted to.
    I am so glad you have at last found a spark of brightness and I am sure with your obvious determination you will come to embrace the changes.
    Good luck and have a great rest of the weekend.
    Jenny x

  13. Ah, you make me laugh Millie. I bet Charlie would love Lulu. You're right about the puddles, although we have toilet trained him with wees. It's the big stinky puddles that we're working on!

    I'm so sorry to hear about your job. I had a feeling it may have been heading in the wrong direction when you wrote something about a meeting a while ago. And you were so happy in your last position too. I admire your determination so much, you have a lot of strength. Let us know how it goes.

    Rachael xx

  14. Millie,

    Congratulations on your win! I admire you for taking on a new challenge and have no doubt there are more wins ahead for you!


  15. Hi Millie
    I'm glad you had a win. I've sensed a certain sadness in your blog and I thought it must be the job.I hope you can sort your way forward soon. Life's to sort to be unhappy.
    Kind Regards

  16. Hi Millie, Well done on your big win, it must feel really good on so many levels. Stepping outside of one's comfort level is always a big ask, and especially when you feel you're starting at the beginning again. I bet those new clients love you already - good things sometimes take time - just like that house of yours. Looking forward to MOTHS garden walls amongst the 'drifts', or is that too much to ask for! xx


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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