The Hedge's Guest Blogger

G'day MOTH (Man-Of-The-House) here. While Millie's off telling the Drs. how to hone their diagnostic skills re her mystery malady, she's asked me to step into her Manolos for today & take over her chair at The Hedge. She's left some questions for me & also some from her Hedgies, so here goes:

I live in.....

Eternal optimism of me living long enough to finish the renovations of this flicking house! An anagram of our property's name is 'Ulcervain' or 'Draculavein' (which alludes to the size of the mozzies that fly around here at night!)

My favourite room in the house is.....
The kitchen - the origin of food! I offer to help with cooking, but do remind Millie that too many cooks can damage the result....so I get to go & watch the footy on TV. (Excellent ruse eh!)

My style is.....

Wot style?? I just lift heavy things around here!

My most treasured possession is.....

My Melbourne Football Club scarf.

I would love to have.....

A holiday retreat on Bora Bora.

Who are John Saladino, Joe Nye & Thom Filicia.....(this will test you Mr. Expert!)

I'm pretty sure they're on the extended rookie list for my favourite footy team the Melbourne Demons.......GO DEE'S!!!

As a child my Mother told me.....

'DON'T DO THAT!' & ' Yes, Superman may be able to fly but you can't until you're at least 25!!' (As I lay winded & sore on the lawn next to the garden shed.)

My dream house would be.....

Anything newly built or completely renovated.

I have a fear of.....

Hammers, nails, circular saws, power drills, concrete mixers, ladders, etc. etc.

When I look in the mirror I think.....
That bitch the ageing fairy has attacked me again!

My favourite piece of furniture is.....
The couch.


The person I admire most is.....
Being perfect, this a no answer question.

My family says I am.....
a. Corrupt. b. Bad-tempered. c. A clumsy old-fart. d. Benevolent, kind, well-meaning - but falls short.


My biggest regret is.....
Missing out on State Representation in Rowing (a long time ago when boats weren't plastic!)


Who are Brunschwig and Fils, Fortuny and Colefax & Porter.....
Brunschwig & Fils - don't they brew really good Belgian beer?? And Fortuny and Colefax & Porter are their Australian Distributors, aren't they????




Could you share a few tips on how to successfully combine style with practicality & functionality.....
Move the Liebherr refrigerator closer to the Tord Boontje chair in front of the Bang & Olufsen plasma TV - then you won't have to miss any of the game to get a beer.

This

+ this

+ this

= this.

What inspires you & where do you go to find that inspiration.....
Beer & red wine. The Stirling Pub.

From Heidi:

I would love to pick MOTH's brains about what he would hang over the fireplace.....
My rowing medals (in chronological order), my beer can collection suspended from the ceiling (they would make an awesome tinkling noise when the heat from the fire sets them in motion!) & the 20kg. stuffed Conger Eel that I caught 35 years ago at the head of the Yarra River.
Ed's. Note: I may be off my game, but it would be over my dead body before this little mantlescape comes into being!!! Don't encourage him any more thanks Heides!


From Joan:

How does your style differ from Millie's?
Refer to Q. 3.

What is you favourite/least favourite type of remodel job to (i.e. painting, plumbing etc.)
Joan, I break out in a potentially terminal neuro-dermatitis when the 'P' word - painting is mentioned. 'Mill, Mill..... run the Hydrocortisone bath straight away!!!' Millie in reply 'I would if the #?!!#?! bathroom was finished!!'


When remodelling opinions 'vary', how do you & Millie resolve the difference of opinion? (Is there discussion, does M's. vote trump?!)
Refer to Q. 3 thanks Joan.

What is your one favourite change that you have made to the house?
Refer to Q. on moving the fridge into the Sitting Room.


From Meredith:

Why is it that most men can usually do the most amazing & complex tasks when tools & renovating are involved, but putting together an IKEA flat pack will leave them hyperventilating?
The IKEA instructions are ALWAYS wrong Meredith! And there's always 2 less screws than there's supposed to be. Our Chinese-made BBQ below (not IKEA) made for 'easy home assembly' was a fine example, I had to pull out all manner of magic words to make it fit together as the Manufacturer promised. It was a marathon assembly more befitting to the Acme brand do-it-yourself Oil Tanker which could have been assembled in half the time!




From Debra:

Will you work for fabulous meals and great wine? I could use a little help here!
Thank you Debra for your kind offer - just send the wine, that will be OK.... oh, have I misunderstood? Do you mean 'chez vous' in Maine? Is the air-fare included?

From Karen:

I would like to ask what is your biggest challenge with this house?

• All the #@??!!# walls (internal & external) are masonry which means again a test of my magic word vocabulary, skinned knuckles, dust in the lungs & quadruple the time to do the most basic things. Sometimes I feel like Fred Flintstone at the Quarry.
  
• The early 70's architecture is always a challenge to elevate to 21st century feel. Occasionally I phone for a bulldozer quotation to demolish the whole #@??!!# lot!


• I am seriously considering a book on the subject at this stage, but the language may not be suitable for general reading.
  

What are the major differences between this house and the last?

About a century! The previous house was a typical South Australian Victorian era sandstone villa with massive foundations which unfortunately, with the type of Bay of Biscay soil (very plastic) did not prevent a lot of cracking in walls. We don't have that problem with the current house..... although I believe we live fairly close to some major fault lines!!

What drives you, is it Millie ?

Actually it's her list, which is up-dated almost hourly with an explanation required if any task has run over time. Send me back to the SAS, it was lot easier!

From Cathleen:

Who's idea is the remodeling?

Refer to Q3.

Who makes the final decisions?

The Minister for War & Finance always has the last say!

What are your favorite colors?

Not sure - I'm colour blind Cathleen. There is so much debate about hues & shades in our house I can never win on this one or come to think of it, not much else either!

Can you really do everything?

Being reasonably optimistic of my abilities, I will attempt most things except plumbing, electrics & anything else which results in possible maiming or worse still death to myself or any interested visitors. I always give one hour's notice prior to demolition of any part of the house using plastic explosives.

Isn't Millie the greatest!!!!
Errrrrr, yes ........heap flowers & accolades upon her I say, she's a delightful woman. She feeds me well, giving me the energy to continue on this monumental challenge, which is our house. (You can put the gun down now Millie!)

Images:1,2,3,9,11,12,13,21,22 Millie Image:4 Melbourne FC Image:5 Rates to Go Image:6 ABC Image:7 Caped Wonder Image:8 Tree Hugger Image:10 ebay Image:14 Rowing History Image:15 Po-Ferries Image:16 Infolink Image:17 Fritz Hansen Image:18 Itechnews Image:19 Home Brew Tips Image:20 Visit Adelaide Hills