Wednesday, June 2, 2010

An Apology To La Maison

To The Manager @ La Maison, Shoreditch High Street, London E1.

On May 10th you received email correspondence from a Sir Lachlan 1V enquiring about the bed pictured below. Sir Lachlan expressed great interest in the bed, how many you held in stock in case he wanted to purchase more than one for his country estate, delivery options, etc. You kindly emailed back, answering all his queries & quoting a price of GBP6,000.

I am sorry to say that an order from Sir Lachlan in the Colonies will not be forthcoming. As his mother, it is my regretful duty to inform you that this email request was not exactly kosher. In actual fact, it resulted from a very late night with his mates, a slab of Cooper's Sparkling Ale, a bottle of hoon juice Bourbon, a discarded copy of his mother's English Homes & Gardens, a computer & too much youthful 'exuberance'. Sadly this is not the first time such 'enquires' to genuine Merchants have emanated from that computer. If Sir Lachlan was 15 years younger, he would be grounded for a month & his computer privileges removed. However, at 28, punitive parental measures such as this would only be met with amusement. For your information, (& I trust as some form of consolation for your troubles) he did receive the famous Millie Death Stare, which has been known to freeze over parts of the Polar Ice Cap in seconds.

Once again, please accept my sincere apologies for this most unfortunate incident. However, I would like to place an order for the cherub bed below. I think it would be the perfect gift for Sir Lachlan on his next birthday. It will be with great interest that I watch to see how he explains the presence of this divine piece of rococco angelic-ness in his bedroom to the above same mates. Right alongside the Ford Muscle Car Posters & signed Cheech & Chong 'memorablia'.

Yours sincerely


All images: The long-suffering La Maison


  1. That was priceless! Much like the cost of the bed! Fantastically good post Millie...I loved every word and image that they conjured up...especially the Millie death stare. Best thing I've read for weeks..from anywhere!

  2. Still trying to figure out if he REALLY did it or not! Please don't give me your death stare Millie - I believe you. I promise!
    He'd be my brother's idol with the signed Cheech and Chong memorabilia ;-)

  3. Ha ha, that's just too funny! You'll make La Maison's day if you send that! Rachaelxx

  4. Oh Millie, the antics of your boys are priceless. I was still getting over the mail order bride they'd ordered for MOTH. This incident will surely be added to the Hedgie Hall of Fame.

    Cheech & Chong memorabilia - but of course:) Meredy xo.

    p.s. any chance Sir Lachlan would do a guest post?

  5. The last line made me squawk!

  6. AAHHH Millie,
    Still laughing at that one. Sir Lachlan should know by now that even though he won't be grounded for a month and sent to his room to think about it, that there is more than one way to skin a cat, starting with a Millie death stare and ending with such a bed that looks as though it belongs in a European chateau!
    Take care
    N.W. Coast Tassie

  7. Oh yes Millie, this is the perfect reason why 'children' need to be supervised in their online activities ;) I do bet your son got quite a good laugh out of his little escapade, and now your lovely little blogging community has too. Lee

  8. Well Millie
    We all know why you need this blog. SANITY
    Kind Regards
    PS: I'm off to work for what will probably be an awful day so I'll think off this and laugh inwardly

  9. That was so funny, Millie!
    Never a dull moment for you and I hope that you do not have to do the Millie death stare again, for a while.

    Happy week

  10. Oh Mills, you are absolutely fabulous! If only that cherub bed wasn't so exhorbitant, I think it would make the perfect gift for the young master. Priceless is right! K xx

  11. Fabulous post Millie and that bed is gorgeous!

    Leeann x

  12. too funny - i kinda like the sound of him...... k

  13. Hi Millie
    Well boys will be boys.. and yours have that Hedge flair to them!!! I think Meredith is right and they should do a guest post... Love the beds.. the cherubs are perfect for him!!! hahahaha

    My brothers were the fact one of their friends went to the bank with my mum and handed over a hold up note!!! as a joke!!! good thing it was back in the 70's and the bank staff knew mum!!! have a good one.. xxx Julie

  14. Well Millie I'm noting down never to do anything that might merit a death stare from you - terrifying.

    I'm officially putting my name down on the petition for your darling son to treat us to a guest post. I'm sure he'd have an instant record number of followers!


  15. Sigh . . . sleep has to be incredibly blissful in a bed like that. xxoo

  16. Oh Millie this is fabulous....never a dull moment at The Hedge!! Stay warm....Axx

  17. LOL....I wish you would find Lachlan that bed...that would be something to see, xv.

  18. Classic! I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when that confession came to light!

  19. Ooooh LOVE this bed... and merci for the laugh!

  20. Well at least Lachlan has a creative side & did not go with the usual nonsense.
    I'm thinking perhaps along with the bed a pink crystal chandelier would make a wonderful accompanyment.

  21. How funny Millie. I'm a bit like Ange - if he really did that, did you really write that back? I feel the death stare coming on...

  22. :D I think the cherub bed would be an excellent lesson!


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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