Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Cast Your Vote Boys

1. Buckingham Palace State Dining Room (your Mother's personal favourite)

OK boys here's the deal. I've done the maths & six dining chairs into fifteen of us won't go for Christmas lunch. MOTH suggested that we could play the old musical chairs game, & those without a chair at the end will just have to plonk anywhere & balance a plate & a drink as best as they can. I feel that is not appropriate, so I've been looking at alternatives. It would mean a little travel to get there on the day, but hey, it means that we all get a seat around the table & that's what really matters. I'm sure I can borrow one of these lovely venues, I do know that in the case of #1, the particular family involved will be having their Family Feud Day at one of their other castle's.

However, there would be a few rules to abide by first. Please read & agree to them before casting your vote.

  • No feet up on the seat opposite.

  • No flip-flops, make an effort & find a pair of shoes from somewhere & wear them.

  • No stubbies on the table - as difficult as it may be, please pour your beer into a glass.

  • No T-shirts with 'dubious' messages (particularly the 'I Competed in the XV World Cannabis Cup' designer Tee I've spoken to you about before) - a bit of decorum on the day will go far.

  • Baseball caps off, yes off for the whole of lunch.

  • Give the can of deodorant that I bought you 3 years ago a run - pleeeeease!

  • Keep the loud raucous laughter to a gentle hum.

  • No dissing the Security guards. (especially if # 2 wins.)

  • No slipping Acca Dacca's Highway To Hell into the middle of the carefully selected Sacred Christmas music compilation that I like to play during lunch. The shock would be all too much for me

  • Sorry, but as much as I like them, your mates Rizza, Jimbo, Markie-Mark, Damo, Little Mattie, Jace, Kymbo, C-Dog, Ango & Spadey need to find somewhere else to eat & drink this Christmas.

2. White House Dining Room

3. Winfield House

4. Leeds Castle

5. 10 Downing Street

6. The Royal Yacht Britannia (this gets MOTH's vote)

So there you have it - 6 very nice places with dining settings big enough to accommodate the lot of us. Yes, I know you might say they lack a little of the ambience of our place, but I reckon it would only take a few minutes & we'd make it feel just like home. MOTH spilling the wine, Son #2 being reprimanded for his appalling eating habits, Son #3 texting under the table the entire meal, Son #4 reeling off his very 'colourful' jokes encouraged by MOTH & Son #5 constantly filling up my wine glass so I completely forget the entire lunch!!


  1. Thank GOD I didn't turn the computer off when I was about to! How you manage to have tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks every time is too much. YOu know - I did have to explain to people here in France that there were signs in Aussie restaurants explaining that footwear was a necessary item. I hated Acca Dacca at school - I found myself downloading 'highway to hell' off I tunes to remind myself of home when I have the blues. It makes me laugh more than 'Gimme a home among the gum trees...' Merry Christmas dear Millie!

  2. OMG! What a day you'd have Millie!!! All the best for it. :)

  3. You sound so much like me. I was just telling someone that it wouldn't be Christmas without my kids making a mess and me yelling at them.

  4. I'm voting for Buckingham Palace Mill's 'cos the Queen and the rest of the gang go to Sandringham in Norfolk for Christmas, so it will be empty. You might all have to fend for yourselves, as there will only be a skeleton staff on. I also think that, when Wills and Harry hear that 'your lot' are coming to town, they might rather hang out with your boys, as I think that they will have more fun. They might just let your boys 'play' with the helicopters !! Just let me know if your coming over and I'll put in a good word for you.You might want to bring your own barbie as I'm not sure if the Palace has one...... By the way, I think that the Royal Family break most of your rules on a daily basis !! XXXX

  5. Your post made me smile. I needed that today. :) Thank you!

  6. Hmm, this reminds me a lot of holiday dinner at the manor. My daughter and I are always out numbered by two twenty something guys and their twenty something wanna-be dad!

  7. Millie, you crack me up and I just love this post! I must go further investigate Leeds Castle now. I'm dying over that room!

  8. No flipflops? Oh, come on now! hee!

  9. Ohhh Millie-please think about writing some short stories. If I can get a flight will you pick me up at the airport so I can join these fabulous holiday festivities???

  10. Leeds Castle is my pick, I think it is critical to keep your boys away from Prince Harro and Prince Willy. Very Bad Influences. Don't your son's girlfriends tone them down? No I guess not. Speaking of Australianisms, when I was on the spirit of Tasmania at the all you can eat buffet, there were large signs everywhere which read (in addition to Please wear Shoes) :

    "Please use the Tongs"

    (as opposed to one's hands).......!!!

  11. Millie. My vote is for #5. 10 Downing Street. If you sit at the head of the this table (from where the photo is taken) you would have a fair chance of keeping an idea on MOTH and all the off spring. I feel the wait staff will also be safer (from wedgies and the like) by being able to serve from the center.
    Now with regard to no feet up, surely YOU have a special exemption from this.
    Perhaps you also need to ban any and all Twittering during the meal.
    Best of luck and may your hearts desires all be granted.
    Been a great year hanging out here at the hedge.
    Jane at Janezworld
    (in case blogger still doesn't like me)

  12. I vote for Leeds Castle too Millie - because there'd be room enough for all of us to come too. I promise to behave, & I'll wear deodorant. xx

  13. Hi Millie,

    Sounds an awful lot like our family.... Son texting like crazy whilst eating - quite an art in that.
    My pick is Downing Street or Royal Britannia.
    Have fun with your family, whatever Castle or Mansion, you spend your day.


  14. 3. Winfield House is the one for me. Oh and your blog is the top. I love it so much I can hardly stand it. I'll be sure to call here often.
    Warmest regards,

  15. Great post!!...I agree with you, my vote is Buckingham Palacetoo :)

  16. I like the idea of a yacht. If anyone misbehaves just throw them overboard.

  17. Looks like Leeds Castle is winning hands down. Can I come too, you'll have extra space now that you've banned all the colourful friends with dodgy names.

  18. What a wonderful post...such a beautiful way to dream. I can't decide, so I was wondering about the chance of doing some type of traveling dinner. We could start on the Royal Britannia, and then just make the rounds, maybe ending the evening with dessert at Buckingham Palace.

    Thanks for visiting my post on pearls and for sharing your thoughts.

  19. Oh Millie this is hilarious. You need to put yourself up for the sainthood, seriously. Talk about long suffering.

    I'm going to the AccaDacca concert in Feb.....mmm maybe I shouldn't have owned up to that. It's just they all look like they are going to the rock concert in the sky shortly so I thought I'd take my opportunity now.

  20. This is so hilarious and true.... and let me tell you, don't we all have those rules???(Just to be broken over and over? Texting, elbows, footwear and hats???? Sounds awfully familiar!

    LOVE it! And one of the palaces would do fine, thank you!

    Feed them in the garden....


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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