Friday, December 11, 2009

Let's Party!!

It's that time of the year again - time to party courtesy of my Company! Tomorrow night my lovely work colleague Mr. D & the delightful Mrs. D, along with myself & MOTH, will hit the town to wind up a very big year at work. Mr. D & I have had more than our fair share of big nights over the years to celebrate surviving another year & despite my lower limb limitations, this year will be no exception! We are supposed to have one of the Senior Management team fly down from Sydney to join us, but strangely each year, our State knees-up always seems to fall on the same night as the Head Office shindig, so sadly, they can't make it. Takes some very 'creative' co-ordination on our part that does!!!

I love these little gems for Office Christmas Party Etiquette - not that we'll need to brush up ourselves, we'll all be perfect Angels. Enjoy a monstrous weekend everyone!

Office Christmas Party Etiquette

Christmas parties are a cultural tradition within companies and businesses.
They are supposed to be fun, frivolous, flirty, but not filthy.
We advise you to exercise great care and restraint so that your most embarrassing drunken occasion doesn't occur at the company Christmas Party.
Workers should avoid getting drunk, sleeping with workmates, crying, throwing up or chatting to superiors at the office Christmas party.

What To Wear
  • Men - Make sure you're comfortable, there's a good chance you'll eat and drink a lot, and you don't want to split your pants.
  • Ladies - Unless you're in the porn industry, a lot of skin is inappropriate at company Christmas parties. Ensure you're going to be warm enough, you don't want your lips turning blue and your nipples behaving like headlights. Bras should always be worn to parties, they tend to make the woman look more attractive.

How Much To Eat And Drink

  • Wobbly legged is definitely not an option at the company Christmas party. Have a look at R U Pissed to see how much you might be able to drink.
  • Sometimes, a little bit of alcohol and good food while sitting beside your office heart throb will get your pulses racing. If you feel things might get heated, find accommodation.

Meet & Mingle

  • If you see the IT manager sitting on his own in a dark corner, help him out and go speak to him. The poor guy has problems fitting in.
  • Stay away from the mistletoe! You will most likely pucker up with just about the ugliest person in the office.
  • Don’t sing or show off your dance moves no matter how drunk you are.

How To Score At The Christmas Party

  • If you are going to fish from the office pool that there will be consequences.
  • Be advised that any reputation may actually help you.
  • The more of a reputation that you have as a, um, good date, the more likely you will be sought out early, and by less desperate types.
  • Stay away from married colleagues. Try to keep to the singles, they are not only safer, but the next-day consequences are limited in comparison.
  • Try to feel out the crowd, and try to pick a target as soon as possible but don’t target more than one person at a time.

Know When Your Night Is Over

  • Trust your instincts on this one. Better to jump in that cab & head home, than to disgrace yourself by suggesting everyone go on to a strip club and then you fall asleep in a toilet cubicle.
  • You see these people nearly every day so be conscious of your actions. Keep your head held high and if you can remember even one of these tips on the night, you'll wake up the next morning with a smile on your face, instead of with that minger from Accounts.
    Image: Daily Mail


  1. LOve it LOve it LOve it I am laughing so much tears are running down my people really get this naughty at office Christmas parties life is SO boring !!! Have a WONDERFUL night..can't wait to hear what you got up too!!!

  2. Bras should always be worn to parties, they tend to make the woman look more attractive.....

    Gosh, I couldn't agree more! LOL!!

    loved the part about headlights, too. hee!

  3. I can't wait to hear about your night out on the town... Have lots of fun and be sure to report back.

  4. Oh, you know, I do not remember, when I was last at a company party...but those rules surely apply....I had to LOL!
    What people do not seem to know...or remember!

    I just stumbled upon your delight of a blog and share many of your ideas of life and your sense of humour in particular!!!

    From far away!


  5. ha ha ha ha ha!
    Phew - thank goodness I now know the rules before ours next Friday ;o)
    Have a fun night!

  6. Great post..I remember those days well. Can't say I miss them! Have a wonderful night. Sounds like you will not have any problems on that front..enjoy!

  7. Hey Millie, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow night, as we're hosting our work Christmas party. I'll drink a quiet little toast to you at some point in the evening. Maybe you can get a little wheel attached to your plaster to help with the killer dance moves that I'm sure you and MOTH are famous for. Meredy xo.

  8. Thanks for the giggle Millie! We have our Works Christmas do on Monday. I'll be sure to keep these things in mind before attending! I hope you have a lovely night out! xxoo

  9. Oh Mill's, that was brilliant...... and so true. I always think of Ricky Gervais and The Office Christmas party. Wonderful humour with a touch of sadness.
    Have fun at yours and, because of your 'little leg problem', I doubt that any of those situations will arise, .... but, you never know..... and there's always MOTH who could embarass himself. Can we hear all about it on Monday please ? XXXX

  10. Such sage advice young Millie! Have a wonderful end-of-year Christmas shindig. Lee :)

  11. Mmm best laid plans....let us know how it goes!

    Bit of good food, lashings of good wine and gosh you could be up on the table dancing .. even with your poor foot!

  12. thank you for the refresher course!!!

    i have a company xmas party on sunday night.
    i will be sure to wear band aids over my ni--les, and under garments under my clothes.

    xx have fun at your party

    ps i posted this one on my wall on facebook!!

  13. Great advice Millie but you haven't mentioned photocopier etiquette! Enjoy your evening tomorrow - eat, drink and be very merry. Leigh

  14. your post is so funny!!!
    i´ve been laughing a lot, i´m so agree with you!!
    kisses from spain

  15. Great advice! I opt to skip our office party because it's just sooo lame. Except the one year when one of the VP's got trashed and hit on everyone. That was something to talk aobut.

  16. Too funny Miss Millie!
    Have a wonderful time and behave yourself!!

  17. ah bugger - I am no longer quietly congratulating myself for working diligently on my own in the country. I just laughed so much and now I MISS office parties... Hope it cures MOTH's case of the grumps ;-) MUCH MUCH Christmas cheer to you dear Millie. You are my source of laughter out here in the French woops!

  18. Funny!!
    My first visit.
    Great post

    Seasons Greetings.


  19. Hi Millie,

    How neat to be reminded of the Christmas Party work Etiquette.
    Have fun at your Party and look forward to hearing how it goes.

    Have a marvelous weekend

  20. Hey Millie!!
    What a hilarious [yet true] reflection of life at an Office Christmas Party! [although I'm not sure my manager will agree re the IT thing .. hehe]

    This brings back so many memories.. the good and the bad..and the unspeakable! I think I will leave the partying up to you this year... hope it was a blast!! Leg and all..! xx Julie

  21. darling millie... this just made my day... thanks always for your sweet comments... and make sure you take time for you this holiday season... x pam

  22. Oh lord, I have definitely had my share of embarassing office party moments.....altho it's all a lifetime away now so I can laugh about it all :)

    Have fun!!


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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