Monday, November 29, 2010

Hotel Operator Speaking

'Welcome to The Hedge, Mum speaking. You're wanting to book the Guest Suite for Christmas? I can give you the nights of Dec. 23 & 24 only, then you'd need to check out. No need to get snakey, it's our busiest time of the year. Yes darling, I know you're coming from interstate, but my only suggestion for the other 6 nights would be to contact our affiliated property, The Brothers Boutique Hotel down in the city run by your Brother's #4 & #5, they may have a spare room - good luck.'

'Welcome to The Hedge, Mum speaking. You've heard the Guest Bathroom will be completed by Christmas & you want to book the adjoining Guest Suite for 3 weeks instead of heading off to Asia back-packing. OK sweetie, I can only give you the nights of Dec. 25 & 26, & then you'll have to check out. But you can have the room again from Jan. 3rd. Look mate, I know you're driving all the way from Melbourne, but I don't appreciate being yelled at, try our affiliated property, The Brothers Boutique Hotel. But you'd better be quick as I've just told one of your other brothers to contact them pronto - good luck.'

'Welcome to The Hedge, Millie speaking. You're wanting to confirm your Christmas booking, just let me check. Yes, I have you in the Guest Suite from Dec. 27th to Jan. 2nd. There will be a small surcharge for that room, as I've had to decline 2 other bookings in favour of yours. But as you are my favourite Sister-In-Law, I'll throw in a few free meals to sweeten the deal. Yes, I'll try to make sure your brother MOTH The Christmas Grinch is over his Holiday Season grumpy funk before you arrive, but I can't promise anything.'

'Welcome to The Hedge, Mum speaking. You're wanting to book the Guest Suite from Dec. 24th to Dec. 30th, even after swearing back & blue last week you wouldn't be coming home this Christmas from Melbourne? You've got to be joking buddy! Brother #3 has got it for 2 nights, then Brother #2 has a confirmed booking & then your favourite Auntie from Melbourne & her new bloke are long-term guests until the New Year. No need to get abusive, yes you are Son #1 & yes we do love you, but you've left your run too late. Contact our affiliate, The Brothers Boutique Hotel, I hear they may have a spot on their sofa available - good luck.'

Pass the Christmas bookings spreadsheet Basil, this is truly doing my head in!!!



  1. Millie, I so need you to answer the phone for my Florida are hysterical.

  2. Great! Millie, hope your boys read this too!

  3. Classic. I needed a good laugh this morning. Thanks Millie.

  4. That really made me laugh Millie, very funny!!! x

  5. Wow, I didnt know you have 5 boys. You so do have a way with words.Good luck with it all. Fiona

  6. Fantastic Millie, such a funny read and oh how true it is.... ;-)

  7. Like Kerry said, Millie. You've made my day. J x

  8. Love it Millie!!!! Sounds like its going to be a full on Christmas in your house!!! xx

  9. LMAO Millie You Crack Me Up!!

    It pays to book in early I take it..


  10. You are really too, too funny! Love it. Hope you are well.

  11. Thanks Millie, I haven't had a good laugh in weeks! Next year you should list your hotel on wotif, then someone else can handle the bookings!


  12. I hear you Millie....what's that Christmas line, "No room at the inn....." ! xv

  13. Hi Millie,

    Why is it that Christmas is like this?
    Always so much stress organizing everything. Hope it all works out and you all have a great time.

    Happy Tuesday

  14. I love what you said in your comment to me just now, thanks so much Millie, your wisdom is comforting and reassuring as always.

    And yes, it was a Thinking Out Loud post....that really made me laugh!! You could hear the whirring noise couldn't you LOL!!!

    Thanks Millie xx

  15. This is hilarious, Millie. I can only imagine the fun in your household with five boys, even though they're out of the nest. I'm envious since I have no brothers or sisters!


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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