Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Cancel My Card!

10.a.m Monday morning

'Is that the Westpac Card Fraud Dept.? It's MOTH here, someone's scimmmed my Mastercard. I've just been down to the Hardware store to pick up a load of plasterboard & my Credit Card was declined.'

'Have you got any idea how embarrassing that was. I looked a real *#*?! in front of the blokes at Mitre 10. Yep of course there's enough funds in there you idiot. And no, I've made no transactions for $850.55, I've been robbed!'

'So what are you going to do about it - you & your bank are an absolute disgrace. In fact the whole banking system is a shambles & we are the poor suckers.You better watch it mate, one day soon there's going to be a revolution & we'll all going to take our money out of your dodgey bank!'

'OK so an hour later you're telling me the only thing for it is to cancel my card & Millie's card which is linked to mine. And you reckon it will take 15 days to get new ones issued. OK just do it.'

'Mills, I'll have to stop everything, go down to town, take the money out of the account in cash & go back & pay Greg at the Mitre 10 before he gets angsty. Bloody banks! Oh & you won't be able to use your card for a couple of weeks.'

'No need to get abusive here Mills, that's just the way it is & it's not my fault.'

11.30a.m. Monday morning

'Is that Westpac Card Fraud Dept.? Umm, it's MOTH here. Umm you know that complaint I made earlier this morning, well umm I need to cancel it. I was coming back from the Hardware store in my truck & I had umm a bit of a umm flash. Umm actually it was me who made that umm big transaction. I umm remembered I paid for a whole lot of building stuff on Friday. Umm, sorry, I umm don't know how that slipped my mind.'

'So the Customer Service person I spoke to has had to be carried from the building in the foetal position & has gone out on indefinite stress leave. Umm sorry about that.'

'And it's too late, you can't uncancel the card stop. So that means umm I have to tell Mills that her card stop still stands. Right then, you wouldn't have the phone number handy for the Men's Shelter would ya mate?'

I've said it before & I'll say it again - while MOTH lives & breathes, The Hedge will always have posting material!

Image: Mastercard


  1. Lord... I do love that man! If it wasn't for MOTH and his antics I would have no reason to laugh!
    He's one in a million Millie-honestly...he's precious.

  2. hehehehehehehehe
    Best yet! You did warn us MOTH doesn't like technology! It will be like being back in the 70's.. cash transactions only here!
    Have a great week. x Julie

  3. I'm in hysterics, I trying to think of an excuse to save MOTH from the mens shelter.... ummm drawing a blank!

    I tryed mate,

  4. Too funny. I can totally relate and have reserved a room at the funny farm farm myself. Just in case.

  5. Millie, are you going to publish your memoirs. So funny.

  6. Oh dear, I hope Moth is saved from the mens shelter!
    Just think he was getting supplies for the house from Mitre 10 ~ right! So that is a good thing.


  7. moth is too funny. please let him know that he's keeping someone in seattle in stitches! enjoy your new tv! beautiful tribute, earlier, to your mom millie. pam

  8. Oh my lord! My morning laugh! Well, Millie he has the whole planet laughing I think, tell him here Holland I was a hootin' and a hollarin' first thing this morning.
    Hope you dont need to go along for all future purchases ! haaaha.
    Thanks for the great post!Julie in Holland ..... :)

  9. OMG Millie, hilarious - I am laughing like mad!!! MOTH!!!!!!

    Funnily enough, my husband's card was retained by his bank on Sat am....turned out the cashpoint had a false front and a tiny camera to record my husband putting in his pin.....it was a very elaborate scam. In the next 2 hrs somebody managed to spend over £1200....thank goodness is wasn't the joint a/c!

    I sympathised naturally although now that I have heard the same tale many times over, I think I will scream if he mentions the word "bank" again any time soon ;)

    Thanks for the giggle :)

  10. Oh Millie this is too funny - men!! Always jump to conclusions before finding out the facts! The difference here would be that my Mr A would just blame me!!! Have a lovely week - hope he starts passing out the cash to you!. Leanne

  11. I suspect it's frosty weather at The Hedge today. MOTH probably would be happier and safer at the men's shelter. Great laughs for us though!

  12. Well it is really funny Millie just too bad it effects you as well. Now he can stop whining about the new tv and car.Must say mine's a dinosaur too.
    Kind Regards

  13. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when you were calling MOTH all the names under the sun......Brilliant MOTH.. you give Millie the best material and long may you reign !!!!
    Were there a few expletives bouncing off the wall, Millie??!!! XXXX

  14. Hi Millie,
    Been a few days since I "called" in and had to laugh at the antics of MOTH, bankcards and modern technology. We have had our t.v. for 16 years and everything was okay until the big screen's came in and now any writing on the side of the t.v. screen as well as the bottom is lost. A real brute when you are trying to watch footy and can't see the scores. Our son runs into the kitchen to check out the t.v. 'cause you can see everything on that one. Very sad!!! The car is more modern than the electrical equipment in the lounge room, it has a DVD player!!! And the salesman warned us not to sit in the drive-way and watch the DVD's otherwise we'd have a very flat battery...how funny is that???!!! Yes, I think we will take it down to the wire and when technology catches up with us, then we will catch up then (much to the kids disgust and many protests). Earlier this year when we got hooked up to the internet, there was not a dry eye amongst them and you couldn't hear yourself think from all the cheering. AAAHHH technology, love it and hate it. Will call in again soon.
    Take Care

    Love Janine
    N.W. Coast Tassie

    p.s. Thanks sharing the lovely pink post, it was really beautiful.

  15. Oh Sister of the mysterious, I laughed and laughed outloud. I thought, though, for sure it was going to have been a shoe binge purchase or something - but building supplies -- well the end will justify the means!
    I am sorry I have been so absent, my life is just not slowing down for an instant - no matter how much I scream and whine about it.
    Perhaps MOTH should send some flowers to that poor customer service girl.... and to you since you're without the card for weeks!!! EEP! hehehehe.
    xo Isa

  16. You're right, MOTH in the hedge makes for plenty of laughs. Poor man, honest it can happen to anyone, I have had a panic or two over charges that I had completely forgotton about. But oooooh this is a bit embarrassing.


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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