Friday, October 30, 2009

The Doctor Is... IN

Since time immemorial our kids have always gone to MOTH if they are unwell. The fact that their maternal parent is an RN with double degrees in Intensive Care & Cardio-Thoracic Intensive Care, seems to leave them totally unimpressed, it's Dr. MOTH they want.

And of course, I should just accept that being a Landscape Gardener & Builder (General Contractor) far better equips him than me to be the Family Medical Advisor! But the kids reckon he's Da Bomb, & as he has a strange fascination with all things medical, the arrangement seems to work. Sometimes he oversteps the mark like recently, when he casually asked me to describe the procedure for placing an Internal Cardiac Defibrillator & I was happy to do so until he started taking copious notes & requesting me to go back & repeat certain steps. I had to be very firm with him & tell him this was better left to the Interventional Cardiologists, but I reckon that fell on deaf ears! MOTH's main piece of sophisticated diagnostic equipment is his faithful dog-eared copy of Davidson's Principles & Practice of Medicine. First published in 1957, he up-graded to the 14th edition in 1984 & refuses to even consider moving to a newer, abridged version. At the slightest whiff of trouble with either himself or the kids, out comes the Davidson.

Last night it got a huge work-out. The first phone call came from a son in Melbourne wanting a phone consultation. So Dr. MOTH went into action & was doling out advice in quick time. A few minutes later the phone rang again, it was another Melbourne son, who after having been alerted by his other brother that Dr. MOTH was presently consulting, called looking for medical assistance.

Now I do need to tell you I was eaves-dropping on these consultations from another room & the advice I heard being given seemed OK. And Dr. MOTH was smugly congratulating himself that once again, his superior diagnostic skills had saved the kids a trip to a real Dr. Then I nipped outside to water some new little seedlings in the garden. I heard the phone ring again & as I walked inside, I was truly shocked to hear Dr. MOTH, with Davidson's in hand, advising one of the Adelaide sons on how to perform a wedge resection on a suspected ingrown toe-nail using a pair of scissors & a Stanley knife. 'Oh yeah, make sure you throw some Pine-O-Clean on 'em first' he was telling his patient.

Well that was it, I told Dr. MOTH in no uncertain terms his consulting session was over, grabbed the phone & firmly suggested to his 3rd patient that an appointment with a real Dr. today would be highly advisable & that he should disregard the advice he'd just been given! This morning the good Dr. is still sulking that I'd cut his session short. Oh & if anyone from Medicare just happens to read this post, please disregard any new application for a Providor Number you get from a certain dodgy individual in Stirling, I'm just about to swing his shingle over to the Doctor is... OUT permanently. Hope your weekend is healthy & carefree!!


  1. Dear Nurse Millie,

    You had me laughing today with Dr. Moth's consulting session. Just priceless!...good old Davidson's guide.
    I hope that your Son's get their health issues sorted.

    I want to say thank you very much Millie, for the help you have given me. Looks like I may have an appointment for a clinic next Friday.

    Have a happy weekend

  2. pine-o-clean?!!?!!! love it!
    i had a great chuckle, thanks! and as a medico myself i can concur :)

  3. Oh Millie - that's hysterical. I live with a doctor and I couldn't get him to hand out a diagnosis to me if I were unconscious on the floor!

    I'm glad you were there to professionally intervene - that procedure with the Stanley knife did not sound like it would end very well!

  4. Good to know that some things remain stable and that Stanley knives and Pine O Cleen are still alive and thriving in Aussie... Lucky also that it is still the women folk that are born with common sense! Hilarious stuff... Thanks!

  5. Oh Millie,
    Never a dull moment, never a dull moment!!!!!!!! What a laugh, we have a medical book here that I look up if I want to know something, but that's as far as I go. Hysterical!!! Have a great weekend.
    Take Care
    N.W. Coast Tasmania

  6. Such a funny story! thanks for sharing and making me laugh.
    Take care sweet Millie,

  7. Millie ... that is just too funny!!
    I still cant stop laughing ... imagining that whole phone conversation!
    Mr MOTH must be one fun guy to have around!

    Have a fabulous weekend.

  8. Oh Millie, this is one of the best posts I've read. I was laughing so much, cause obviously MOTH takes his Dr role seriously. MOTH is certainly an original design and one that has not been repeated, lucky you Millie!

    Thank you so much for the fabulous rap at my place by the way, means a lot to me.

    Great weekend to you both,

  9. Dr. MOTH- I have this on-going pain in my shoulder, each night as I raise my arms under my pillow. O.K.- I know I shouldn't be a tummy sleeper- but I am! Are there exercises that you might suggest for this? I have put this off far too long- and knowing that you are now taking new patients, I just knew you would be able to offer guidance.

  10. How is the Mad DR on 'womens problems'? ha ha I reckon we'll all be keeping those to ourselves if he's inclined to prescribe Pine O Clean!

  11. Ahh so very funny Millie! Does Dr MOTH have a stethoscope to go along with the stanley knife & pine-o-clean?

  12. Oh my lord that is completely hilarious! Vicarious living I suppose...but then I can relate. I can on occasion ramble for quite a while on subjects I only pretend to know something about.

  13. oh, great post! had to chuckle as pine -o -clean as a remedy. You have a way with words...

  14. Oh Millie, you do make me chuckle!! Love it! Pine o clean, haha.

  15. I guess it's amazing that you have still got your boys in one piece, Mills !!!!.....have there ever been any catastrophies following a consultation ? Still, even if there have been, MOTH is obviously the 'doctor' that they all want to consult with....... was 'The Flying Doctor' one of MOTH's favourite T.V. programmes ? XXXX

  16. Millie, you guys absolutely crack me up. MOTH is like the Dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding with his Windex that cures all! Hope you have a lovely weekend {even if you can't let your guard down for moment!} Meredy xo.

  17. Hilarious!! As a daughter of a nurse - my mom was the one everyone went to for advice. And no matter where we were it was my mom who had the most random things in her purse to patch you up if needed. Great story Millie!

  18. G´day Lady? So sorry if I only keep reading and peepin in here. I was just to lazy & feebling after long hours at work.

    Wheww... Dr. MOTH? I got goosebumps when I heard the ingrown nail. USCH! Good to hear that he know everything.
    A very well all around knowledge is awesome. Well, MOTH is really awesome.

    Cheers, mate! Hugs to both of you downunder...

    Greetings from a very chilly Stockholm.

  19. You had me laughing this morning. Love it!!! Have a wonderful weekend. Ax

  20. Hilarious Millie - classic! I like the 'pine o clean' comment. I had shocking acne as a teenager and dad suggested I used Metho like he did 'dries them right out'.... um, no.
    Have a beatufiul weekend, so warm - summer here we come! x

  21. Oh MOTH you are a hoot..... and Millie, you should know by now that 'a prophet has no honour in his/her own home'.... try being a Dietitian.... people would stuff their face in front of me as if to say, 'try and stop me'. There'd be a diagnosis in the family of NIDDM and then group pondering over what they should be eating... ahem... over here?... the prophet?... no honour I say. A-M xx

  22. Clearly, you married a man of many talents...and an endless source of good comic material! What next?

  23. Dearest Millie
    I have been out of action all week with both work and flu#4.. tried to get into 5 different drs and all were either booked out or had 4hour waits.

    IF I'd known earlier!!.. I could of just made a simple phone call and been back blogging in no time.. Does he do prescriptions?

    Another great post... xx Julie


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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