Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Watch Out Martha!

Good Morning dear Hedgies my name is MOTH. I would like to show you what I did on Christmas Eve, it was such a breeze to do, everyone should try it. Here's my quick & easy tutorial.

For this 'creative' project you'll need the following materials:
1 black cardboard gift box (glossy looked great).
1 roll of wide ribbon (I used navy gros grain).
1 roll of sticky tape.
6 white sticky labels (5 to stuff up, 1 to get right).
1 black felt tip pen.
Sharp scissors.
4 i-Tunes gift voucher cards.
2 $50 notes (the real deal, don't substitute photocopies).
6 stubbies (375ml. bottles of Coopers Pale Ale).
A comfortable chair.


1. Sit in chair & use remote control to switch on telly. Select Channel 10. It is essential that this channel is selected because it has the 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. This particular show has essential 'reference' material.

2. Remaining seated, yell as loud as you can to Millie. Ask her to find all the above materials & bring them to you pronto. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish first stubbie.

3. Yell again to Millie, reminding her to hurry up. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish second stubbie.

4. Cut a length of ribbon about 1 metre long. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish third stubbie.

5. Beginning at the top of the ribbon attach the $50 notes & I-Tunes voucher cards alternatively. Use staples for the cash & sticky tape for the voucher cards. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish fourth stubbie.

6. Take one of the white sticky labels & using the felt tip pen write 'Pull Here' on it. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish fifth stubbie.

7. Carefully place completed ribbon in gift box ensuring the last piece of the ribbon with the 'Pull Here' tag is hanging out of the box. Place gift box under the Christmas Tree. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish sixth stubbie.

8. Feel sad when the visual 'reference' material is over.

9. Go straight to bed feeling very chuffed with yourself. Leave empty stubbies & craft materials spread all over living room floor. Millie will clean up all the mess, whilst muttering expletives under her breath. Complain loudly to Millie that she's woken you up when she finally falls into bed totally exhausted 2 hours later at 12.30a.m.

10. Wait anxiously on Christmas morning for Son #2 to open his gift.

11. Smile proudly when his reaction is 'Geez Dad, this is awesome!!!.' Add Craft Genius to your Resume.

Image 1: House Party Image 4 : Zimbio


  1. Millie,

    It's so much fun to read about how MOTH handled Christmas. Luckily he has you to back him up.

    Happy New Year, Rosemary

  2. Had to read this out loud to my hubby. We laughed and laughed! Brilliant MOTH! A-M xx

  3. omg, i'm in tears, millie. tears of laughter that is. you guys are too funny. glad you're back. missed ya! pam

  4. MOTH,
    You lost me early at "I used navy gros grain".... do your chums know that YOU know what a gros grain ribbon is?!;) I'm thinking Miss Mill might be able to use this post against your Craft-Genius self!!!:)

    I'm sure when Martha sees this post she will be contacting you with a craft show deal! Nicely done mate!!

  5. MOTHs help must have taken quite a load off you Millie, I bet you were really counting your blessings as you tidied away the aftermath of the 'craft genius'.

  6. He's a keeper...if for nothing else, he's good for the laughs.

  7. Never mind your day job, MOTH... there is a niche for a 'creative ideas for men blog' and you are just the man to fill it.
    Clare x

  8. Cracker post Millie or should I say MOTH! Funny Funny Funny, I am still grinning :)


  9. I see 'MOTHs Makings' as a new show to challenge masterchef this year.

    Jane of Janezworld, now 'From My Heart.'

  10. Millie, you are one lucky gal. Now tell me what you got from this master crafter. MB

  11. Hilarious. He's True Blue, isn't he? So what did he do for you Millie? Can't wait to hear. Maybe your gift was the cleaning up.

  12. A familiar tale. Love the photo of you.

  13. Millie,

    You all are way to cute! I'm charmed by not only you but your adorable family. You are one lucky lady (even though you have to clean up). Just love your blog.

    Ragland Hill Social

  14. Oh, you make me laugh so hard.
    MOTH, you need your own TV show - it would be a huge hit.
    xo Isa

  15. Millie,
    You are too sweet! I look forward to your list. Rita

  16. That was a great tutorial, thanks MOTH! I can see how the stubbies were essential to that craft project. I can't wait for next Christmas, to see what other fabulous ideas you come up with...
    (He will be counting down the days till Christmas, Millie!)

  17. That is one hilarious post Millie. Hope he is STILL feeling chuffed with himself (bet he is)...Mel xxx

  18. Gee it's not even the end of Jan MOTH, and you managed to do a post! and it's like a DIY one too, so we can learn tips from you!

    Bet Millie is stoked that you have so much to offer her Hedgies....

  19. I laughed when I read it, as I always threaten Mr FF with his who blog but say who would want to read DIY tips. Maybe Mr FF and MOTH should write their own blog, the only problem is that Mr FF king of the power tools, is a little scared of the mysterious black box as it has a few more buttons than one of those roaring power thingys that he lovingly caresses day after day.

    L x

  20. haha, thanks for the giggle Millie! xxoo

  21. Brilliant Millie, that was so funny!

    It's so good to have you back...and MOTH too :) I nearly dedicated my "back" post to him, but didn't want that to be mis-interpreted by anyone....I did think of him though, remembering what you had said previously! You do spoil him....first VS, then the backs.....

    :) xo

  22. LOVE IT! you guys crack me up. something tells me this might be come the standard christmas/birthday gift given by MOTH - he is onto something!!

  23. It's early and my husband just asked from two rooms away- "what is so funny this morning?" I do love your sense of humor Millie...I mean MOTH! Really-what a good sport!

  24. I'd laugh too but it all sounds too familiar Millie.
    Kind Regards

  25. Dear MOTH,
    Just felt that I should take over my wife's computer for a moment to congratulate you on a job well done. That navy gros grain ribbon is a boon when tackling jobs like this, isn't it ? I think that it is SO important to have something to refer to when doing a job as complicated as this and Victoria's Secret has always been a close companion for me, wether it be on the T.V. or in paper form.
    Stubbies are a must but, it is very important to finish the job before the 7th or one ends up with an inferior finish, I find. I'd appreciate your thoughts on this.
    It was a pleasure to read your post and I look forward to more from you. I would like to shake your hand, virtually, mate, on a job well done.

  26. Millie...Fantastic!! Loved are a genius! You are keeping your sense of humour....key ingredient to a long and happy life! Glad to see you are back into the swing of things!

  27. Gotta run and get a drink of water - still choking on laughter... Again!!!

  28. Millie,

    MOTH,is a keeper. I need a good chuckle from time to time. He makes mine look refined.

  29. you are hilarious... those are NOT your sons are they??? you are only 39 right??? he he

  30. What a clever Moth, I think I will have to come over to Stirling to get some tips for my next styling job Millie.

    xxx Coty

  31. Okay, now I have to wipe coffee spray off my computer screen...worth it for the laughs though!

  32. MOTH, you should really get your own show. You shouldn't be hiding your light under a bushel. Don't let your shyness stop you from sharing your creative genius! Meredy xo.

  33. love that post - really made me laugh and I have to admit I'm one of these people that scrolls through blogs and doesn't normally stop and read but you got my attention :o)


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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