Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Pipe Dreams

'Don't worry Mum, I'll find that busted downpipe underneath all those leaves for you. Yep, I promise I'll keep MOTH & his impatient chainsaw away from the Boston Ivy - after all it only took 35 years to grow on that wall.'

'See, I knew it would be here. Geez it looks bad - keep MOTH busy inside Mum while I work out a way of putting a new pipe in without wrecking the Ivy.'

'Geez, that trench was hard work to dig. Wasn't helped either by the deep layer of concrete I found, that some idiot had laid the pavers directly onto. It's 3p.m. & my other brother was supposed to be here to help, but I've just texted him & he reckons he's been 'detained'. Detained all right - by the blonde chick I saw him with last night when we were all out at the Pub.'

'Not sure what the Old Man with the saw is about to do. Take that thing away from him Mum, he'll really stuff things up. I told him not to saw there.'

'I know the trench has totally wrecked the garden bed outside your bedroom window. Those are the breaks Mum, stop sniffling, you're just gonna have to suck it up.'

'Sorry Mum but it's getting late & 'cos I had to do everything 'cos the Old Man reckoned his shoulder was too crook to dig & my dodgy brother's only just turned up for the roast dinner you promised, I'll have to leave everything in a mess & all the pavers in a pile.'
Editors Note: Since then we've had 60mm. of rain. The new downpipe appears to be working but the courtyard is a total mud & sludge disaster without any pavers. Why me Lord, why me.



  1. I feel your pain, Millie.

    Jennifer xx

  2. It's a pity then, that your boys are too old for mud pies. Sounds to me like someone owes YOU a roast dinner... gxo

  3. Oh it never ends Millie does it. Stay strong, stay strong. A-M xx

  4. Uugh Millie.....the joys of home ownership!! xv

  5. Millie, this is too funny!! Sorry, but I love it. I can just imagine the talk around your place and your thoughts as you overlook the scene!

    Any of this remind you of when they were young boys? I need your words of they ever change???

    Yours are super heros, they have come to Mom's rescue!

    Jeanne xx

  6. Oh Mill's....Lord give her strength!

    Sorry I giggled reading this :o
    xoxo DJ

  7. dear millie.... if it makes you feel better, i am going thru an audit. i am so sorry about your trouble there... we both know it will all be better very soon.... it always is.... much love to you my sweetie... xoxoxoxo

  8. oh my! i've been there millie. i feel your pain. it starts with "well, if that's what you want, then i have to dig up the yard."

    oh, and remember all the renovs we did last year to make our house nice and comfy for us that we're just now reaping the benefits of? hubby's applied for another job within his company. in another state!!

  9. Very giggle worthy Millie but only until I read down to the mush in the yard.

    I hope that it's all sorted soon,

    Felicity xx

  10. Oh dear Millie, I feel for you.
    Glad that you got it almost sorted, but sorry about the rain. I really hope that you are getting the sunshine we are having, so the ground can dry out.

    Hope that you are having a lovely Thursday

  11. (note- to be read with very small letters and from behind the curtain)

    ...i'm sorry...

  12. I have a man with an impatient chainsaw, too.

  13. yikes!!!

    i am terrified of chainsaws.
    i had a tiny one that was electric
    and meant for shaping small plants.
    the first 5 minutes i had it going...
    i was shaping away......
    and ZIP ZIP ZIP!
    i cut right through the electric cord.

    after that i decided that i am so easily distracted ....
    a real chaninsaw could have cut through a limb.
    one of mine!

    i am sorry for the soggy problems.
    but the good new us that
    you are still fabulous and beautiful
    no matter what happens in the yard.

  14. MIllie - I should be commiserating but I can't stop laughing. How can you expect us to share your pain if you keep writing like this. Oh GOD! May the sun come out and drive away the rain so Incy Wincy can make it up your drain pipe again
    Much love sailing over to you from France

  15. I hope the rain goes away, and the mud dries up, so that you can get your garden back to normal...


And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart.
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
~W.H. Auden

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